Bacon.

Yeah, a whole post for bacon. Many of you may have probably seen this, but no matter - you'll still laugh again. Gaffigan did 4 min on bacon... you should watch it all.

Results, Poll #21, Games of the XXIX Olympiad.

Well, for the 4 of you that were caught unaware, the Olympics *are* back this year. They're going to be held in a country called China, in a city called Beijing. This is a big deal b/c China is a communist country, and the Olympics usually shy away from controversy. But not this year, this year it will be all contro - from pollution to human rights. It should be very interesting... and they'll be a bunch of those interesting sports-human-interest stories too, no doubt.

So what did the t.c readership have to say about tuning in?

> 2 people (14%) said they'd watch every minute - wow, do you need a summer job?
> 6 people (42%) said they'd probably watch some of it - I mean, how can you not?!
> 1 person (7%) said yes, but only if the smog lifts enough to see it - and don't forget to recycle!
> 1 person (7%) said they'd catch some if they have to - wow, don't strain yourself.
> 4 people (28%) said they basically had no clue it was going on this summer - now either the t.c audience is pulling my leg, or many of you need to get over your angorophobia, pick up a newspaper, jump online (wait, if you saw my poll...?), turn on the TV. I don't understand this response. Perhaps I worded it poorly.

It only proves that just when you think you understand humanity, people will always surprise you.

If the devil was made into a snack cake.

I generally consider myself to be fairly iron-stomached. That is, I can eat almost anything (within reason... and without reason) and not be too badly affected. I've eaten lots of things "on a dare", many of which you're aware of (and if you're not, I prob shouldn't rehash it... ooh, corned beef hash). The ping-pong ball-sized hunk of wasabi was still probably one of the worst, but I won't be doing that again anytime soon. Unless it's for $6, cash.

Having said all that, is it any wonder that I ignored the friendly warning of "Don't eat them all, they'll hurt your stomach"? I'd had my eye on the Cakester for some time, being of fan of novel foods. So when I got to my local Walgreen's register for the 2nd time in as many weeks and they were *still* 3 for $2, I had to buy. How could I not? Mind you, this is 3 packs, each pack containing 3 small cakes. I got 2 Oreo and one newer Nilla variety.

I know what you're thinking - "Gosh, those sound *good*, mk!" Don't believe it.


These are the devil of snack cakes.

After having 2 little Oreo cakes and 1 little Nilla cake mid-morning the other day, I could not help but feel recharged by the massive amounts of sugar surging through my veins. So much so, that I had trouble concentrating (more than normal) and I think I even started to sweat in strange places. After that subsided, the stomach pains began. It was like I had eaten moldy cheese, wrapped in bad mexican food, covered by wasabi. I didn't feel right again until I had a commercial-sized peppermint tea from Whole Foods late in the day. Peppermint calms the stomach naturally, you know?

I probably shouldn't have had three in rapid succession, or on a relatively empty stomach... but it's still no excuse for so much bad stuff in such a small & pretty package (aimed squarely at kids?). If you get nothing out of this post, heed this warning - stay away from the Cakesters!

[ final note: 3 cakes have 370 calories and 17g of fat - wowza!]

Rain rain, go away?

As you may have heard, WI was hit with some large rain totals over the last 5-7 days. In fact, we're about .83" from the all time June total for rain, with most of the month left AND an expected 2-3" in the next 2-3 days.

I think it's going to get more interesting around these parts, before it gets better. Oh, and as someone being interviewed on WGN said last night, it all runs down to IL eventually.

The famous Tommy Bartlett Show just lost all of the water from the lake it performs on, Lake Delton. This video is one of the homes on the lake, being washed away. Of course, the show will go on, just not the watersking (or, waterskiing?) part.

Cubs on the run.

Have you ever been away from ESPN, TV, cable, a radio, the internet, etc. long enough not to know how your favorite team did? Well, with a simple text message*, you can find out the most recent outcome of your team. Simply send a text with your team's name to Team TXT at '65246'. They'll send one back to you in seconds with the vital info.

Example:

Me: Cubs

Team TXT: Cub results for 6/10, CHC 10, ATL 5, F, Next: vs ATL, 6/11, 7:05PM CT

Pretty cool if you're out of touch.

* text messaging rates from your carrier will apply.

All I want for Christmas.

Am I actually going to talk about Christmas gifts in June? Yes, I am. While it maybe a bit premature, I want to give t.c readers enough time to figure out how to pull this one off for the man in their life. This should give everyone enough of a head start to figure out how to make it happen. If anyone wants to send me one too, so be it.

Have you seen this yet!!!

I believe commercials just stared playing on TV too... if you don't skip them with your fancy cable boxes. In a nutshell:

"With BeerTender® Model B95, you'll develop a newfound appreciation for beer...as if you didn't possess one already. It's got all the beauty and finesse of the B90, with a few enhancements. Notably, the liquid crystal display. This digital gauge provides you with beer level status and a convenient freshness calendar. You can also pre-set your desired temperature at 36ºF, 39ºF or 42ºF, upping the B95's cool factor even more." MSRP is $299.

And don't just think I'm the only guy in your life that would want one of these... a civilized man's kegerator would be any guy's ultimate gift idea.

Results, Poll #20, Stimulus Package.

"Stimulus package". Seems like an off-color description for a pretty serious problem, no? Well, as odd as it maybe, the federal government is hoping we spend our checks. If the results ain't lyin', many of us haven't even seen the check yet. Maybe it'll come right in time for you to fill your gas tank.

> 5 people (29%) chose it will be spent on goods/services (as intended) - Uncle Sam wants You!
> 4 people (23%) chose it will be spent on previously incurred debt - I consider this simply having spent my check many months or even years ago. Yes, I see the future and knew we would be getting "stimulated".
> 3 people (17%) chose saving it for a rainy day - I actually think most Americans need to learn the habits of saving.
> 5 people (29%) chose that they haven't even got the check yet - well, you can find information about your check here. Although if your parents still do your taxes, you might just want to ask them... maybe they spent it.

Now, it's time to get out there and spend!
Or save.
[Wow, the 20th poll! and 17 respondents, sweetly done.]