Jim Gaffigan - Holiday Traditions

The first segment is very timely... not to mention hilarious.
Merry Christmas t.c Readers!


Holiday Eating Tips.

1.   Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Chris tmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Chris tmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips.



Michigan Avenue, all lit up.

It's hard not to like this street of consumerism when it's in its
Holiday best. (I don't mind it anyways)

Chicago Bagel Authority.

This is the place I go to right from the airport/L. Great sandwiches,
so many to choose from, heated with steam. Try it, on Armitage.

Beat this!

If you can or dare!


Wondrous Punch, Red Dragon; Minneapolis, MN

So, you may have heard about this place in Uptown that has pools of pink vomit outside of it nearly every weekend. Or maybe you din't know quite where you lost it last night and can't figure out how you got home (or not home).

This place and drink is the culprit. If you scroll really really fast, it'll look like a flip-book. (and you may want to puke again).

> this is the drink that causes all the trouble, aptly named 'Wondorous Punch'. At $10.25, you may think you're being ripped off, but after seeing what goes into it, you may want the price to go up (so you don't buy any).

> it starts off innocently enough, a big, handsome, glass of ice - easy peasy

> then the bartender (who looks like he could be an MMA fighter) starts off with the "light rum". now I know the pics look like I took them in a poorly lit bar, which is good b/c i did, but he's got TWO bottles of light rum. Shots one and two

> then add the "dark rums". yes, Mary, he's adding two more shots of rum. that's shots three and four, still in just one glass per person. and you maybe thinking, "I'll want to drink that?". yes, you will... at least for the first couple

> finally, some common sense into the drinks (I mean, I can't drink four shots of rum, can I?): a splash of OJ and a splash of, what appeared to be, grenadine. it gives the drink a nice camoflaugue, this-isn't-four-shots-of-rum look

> pretty little maids, all in a row (movie quote reference, anyone?)

> he's giving out the last two. 5 more people will be under the spell of wondrous punch soon enough
To be fair, I did have one whole drink. It nearly killed me and the next day I was not fully functional until 3PM. They sneak up on you. Finally, don't forget to have dinner there first... mmmm, Polynesian food! (no, not really)


First Real Snow.

What to do with the first real snow storm of the season - How 'bout a
run?The snow slowed the pace down and the hands still got cold, but it
was fun to be out in the white stuff (esp after driving home in it).
Oh, minus 3 tomorrow night - sweet.


Chicago in the morning, a pictoral.

What does one do in the city when given a 60 degree day in November? How about some quick, sunlight, pics along the riverfront. Check it out:

> the venerable Wrigley Building, sitting so nicely in the sun

> wouldn't you love to have the office where the sun beats in everyday around 10AM?

> interesting to see the old and new right next to each other - Wrigley and Trump

> look down the river and just drink it in

> name the building? (or be banned from the t.c. blog)

> should the Chicago Flag be my first tattoo?


Brrrrrrr!!! Run?

Even these temps couldn't make my legs beat my best run time. I blame it on my cold hands, very distracting. And it looks like I better get used to it... winter's here.


Lululemon, Wicker Park, Chicago.

If you have a little bit of time, happen to like yoga, athletics, or simply well-merchadised retail shops, do yourself a favor and check out Lululemon in Chicago's Wicker Park neighborhood. I don't believe you will be disappointed (plus, you can combine a weekend shopping & deliciously sugary brunch trip and really make a stop here worth your while).

What makes it so unique? Well, see for yourself...

> as you walk in you are greeted by a local info board, including Bike Info - Javisst!!!

> they also make use of their local "athletes", asking them to wear (and I suspect, promote) Lululemon to their clients. This isn't a new idea, but this time it seems well done - the athletes all look buff and well-outfitted

> right next to the info is the yoga accessories and a small sitting area (they hold classes in most stores everyday/weekend. they place all product on shelving with wheels and move it all out of the way so people can get their yoga on

> now now, it's briefs and tops, not what I would wear... but this is a great example of how well-done and inviting their displays are - chalkboard names, great colors, and organized

> a view from the back-to-front

> "would you like to sit down while your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/etc tries on some clothes? (for a few hours)" - please, take a load off. this is basically nicer (ok, waaay nicer) than my living room


Silk Soy, Seasonal.

These are only around for the holidays and I wanted to try them - quite tasty. I prefer the spiciness of the Pumpkin Spice, but both have great holiday flavor with a bit lighter, easier to drink mouth feel than traditional egg nog (like with whole milk). I don't think you'll be disappointed and you won't be ingesting any cow's milk or eggs. I have not mixed rum or whiskey in yet, but let me know if you do. Also note, they both have a good amount of cane sugar, so the calories can sneak up on you.


New Bike, Civia Hyland!

I wanted to introduce a new member of my family, a sage green, 54cm, Civia Hyland with SRAM Rival drop-bar build. It's been a great bike so far (slick looks, light weight, solid as the day is long), I only hope I can ride it enough to do it justice.

> this is my own pic from my apartment, with the bike as built (right now)

> and this is the bike from the Civia website, all pro-photo and shit

If you're thinking of a new bike and want more info about Civia, please ask.


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